Never Be Alone For More Then Three Days

This is the culmination of feelings after spending four days alone in a giant house with a throat infection and fever:

People laugh at me when I tell them that I hate God, and sometimes I laugh too, if I feel that being serious about it would make whatever pussy I'm talking to uncomfortable. But I hate that motherfucker so bad, and it's because of shit like this. And not just my own personal experiences, because God made me born in America, which is much better then the chances he gives the vast majority of children. I have watched so much television that I feel I have swum and drank deep of the collective unconscious of mankind, and it tastes like Ice Hole schnapps. God allows this because he hates us, and thinks we're funny when we do stupid things that he designs us to do, like how as a child you used to build lego forts and make them fight. I have seen a fat man shotgun a beer, vomit, shotgun a beer, vomit, and repeat sixteen times. What the fuck kind of place is this where that kind of behavior exists? How much of an unabashed retard do you have to be to throw up sixteen times doing the exact same thing, fatty? What does it take to trigger those faded, withered survival instincts that kept your genetic ancestors from being food for animals, or slaves to people with bronze shit?

There are two things traits within humanity that I can admire. One is the ruthless, animalistic badassery inherent in all of us. We might be pale monkeys, but we can still throw down with the best of nature, us versus them in the wilderness. We just don't have a lot of practice at it. The other trait that I admire in people is the exact opposite: Our giant brains that can construct personalities and logic and construct things like buildings and guns and can determine that if you do one thing in a controlled setting, then you can repeat it ad nauseum to get the same effect. Our super powerful minds are pretty cool.

However, the vast majority of human beings seem to be some kind of halfway fusion of both of those aspects and it is terrible. Think about it: Instincts are only ever pulled out when someone wants to prove something retarded without evidence, like 'gays ain't natural,' or 'God exists because I feel him' (I believe in my horrible God because I think that if everything was a random creation then there wouldn't be so much horrible irony to existence). At the same time, our awesome super powered brains are used for either pointless bullshit to pleasure our animal brain or to kill other people so we can steal there stuff and pleasure more of our animal brains. And I can't even blame everyone else for this because I do it too, and it's because that awesome part of human existence is just a byproduct of the stupid animal part, so it fucking controls everything we do.

In the end, being a person is only potentially awesome. There's a lot of possible cool shit that we could do, in the future where we are more civilized and better. That means that people who look forward to a brighter tomorrow are really just procrastinators. Lazy. We don't try and self-improve or be better people now, because those crazy future folk will be on it with their jetpacks and invisible blankets.

So, whenever anyone accuses me of being lazy or procrastinating, I grab them and scream “It's the human condition, Motherfucker!” Right in their ears. And you should too.